Moving On

It was a really rough week just past. But, we've lived through it and this week brings a little hope.

So many friends and family called and wrote and expressed sympathy at our loss of Sherri. One of the most meaningful expressions was our daughter and her husband, Melody and Tony, sent flowers to our office staff with a card that said, "We know the shock and pain of suddenly losing a friend and co-worker, and we wanted you all to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. Tony and Melody Lenox."

We set up a little memorial table and hung Sherri's picture beside it. We do fun little polls sometimes in our office for a little break and Shelley found an old one that Sherri had completed about her first car. She printed it and put it on the table for us to read and remember. Jenny brought a photo album of pictures taken when we all traveled to Austin for a celebration of finishing a project. I took a picture of the spray of flowers we sent to the funeral and we hung it by the table. All in all it was just a sweet remembering time all week of how much we loved and are going to miss Sherri.

Yesterday I took everything down. The flowers were starting to wilt, and it was time to put things up. That's always a sad time. Anyway, we're now on the road to recovery and remembering.

Sunday, Paul and I traveled to Enid where our son pastors a church. Their third child, Boe, was heading out to San Diego to Marine boot camp and his birthday is today, Wednesday. We wanted to say good-bye and Happy Birthday!

Suddenly the war is not just a news item, it has become personal. We fully expect Boe to ship out after training.

So, life does move on. Some sad, some bad, some good, some scary experiences. Sometimes it's a stretch to say, "Life is good," but that's been my mantra for a long time. It still is, but now with even more depth and scars.
MB

Tribute to My Friend Sherri

February 16 I lost a dear friend, confidante, and coworker.

Monday I received two phone messages, one from Sherri's twin sister Kerri and the other from her oldest daughter Courtney. They both had the same message. Sherri's in the hospital and not doing very well. I spent the afternoon with family and friends, waiting and hoping. At about 10 pm that night the family was told Sherri was gone. It was over.

The next morning I had not heard, so I text messaged Kerri and asked for an update. The answer came right back. "Sherri didn't make it. I'm so sorry. Thanks for loving Sherri."

Tuesday was a tough day. I walked into the office past Sherri's cube and felt overwhelmed. I cried and wasn't sure I could go through the day. From my office I can see Sherri's cube and the top of her blonde head was always visible to me. It's a memory that will always be with me in our office.

As our other team members came in, we would share thoughts and memories and cry some more. All day long I was notifying people and receiving calls from others as they heard. To all, it was incomprehensible and shocking. Sherri was 44 years old and left a husband, three teenage children, a twin sister and a younger sister, parents, grandparents and many friends from various areas and things Sherri was involved in with her children, her college sorority, her church, her work, and her family. Sherri grew up in Norman and went to school here, including graduating from OU.

One memory I will share will let you know how I felt about Sherri as a worker and teammate. I was a coworker with Sherri on the same team as we both started at Saxon Publishers. In a few years I was supervisor of a team and she was on my team. At the end of the year we had to complete performance reviews on each person under our supervision. When I completed Sherri's that first year I was her supervisor, I gave her a "perfect 10" on every question or evaluation. HR came back to me and said I couldn't do that. They said that no one is perfect; if someone was that perfect, they would be at the top of the company. I was told that I had to come up with a few things that needed improvement in Sherri's performance. I said I would try. I ended up calling Sherri in and telling her the situation. I asked her to help me and tell me what areas she thought she could improve in. Her suggestions were what I put on her performance review.

But, the next year I refused to go that route again and turned in a perfect score for Sherri and told them that I knew it was hard to believe, but that was the true evaluation for Sherri and I insisted on leaving it that way. Sherri seemed embarrassed and was profusely thanking me that I thought that of her and gave her that rating. And that is my honest and truthful evaluation of Sherri's performance in the workplace.

Rarely does one find an assistant who thinks like you do and that you can totally trust to do what you would want in almost every situation. I have given her more and more responsibility and she took it and did a fantastic job. The only problem with that is that now she's no longer with us, I've got a lot of catching up to do to step in and do what she was doing. I will miss her so much!

One more thing that was humorous between us: Several years ago a pastor friend was talking to us about dealing with volunteer workers in the church. He said, "I would rather restrain a fanatic than try to raise a dead man." Meaning he'd rather have to caution someone about doing too much over having to try to motivate people to do something. I told Sherri she's my "fanatic I need to restrain" to not work so hard. She laughed. But there was nothing she wouldn't gladly take on and whatever she did, she did perfectly.

Well, that's my tribute to Sherri. Not only was she a good worker, but she was optimistic, kind, fun, gentle, and overall one of the finest people I will ever know in my lifetime. I will forever be grateful that I had the chance to know her, to work with her, and to be her friend. I wish everyone had that privilege. I will miss her so much, and when I think of her there is pain right now but I know that will change over time to warm and loving memories. She was such a special person.
MB

Valentine's Day 2009

Today is a day to express love to your sweetheart.

My sweetheart has been my sweetheart for a very long time. I figured it up, and this is our 50th Valentine's Day together as husband and wife.

Handsome gave me a Valentine's card that had printed text that said, "I wish I could find new ways to tell you what's always in my heart. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day" And then he wrote under that, "I love you for who you are...and for who we are together." And he addressed the envelope to "Beautiful." He meant me (in case you were wondering). How romantic and thoughtful is this.

Not only this, but he sent me flowers at work, beautiful cut flowers and a small vase of candy kisses.

Now, the obvious question you might be asking is what did you do for him?

Well, let me tell you something. Of the two of us, he's the romantic, thoughtful one. I'm the practical one. Poor fellow. He bought a jacket for himself on Friday and I suggested that I buy it for him for Valentine's Day. He agreed. Then when I got that really nice card early, I put a post-it note on it and re-carded it back to Paul. How practical is that?

Poor Paul. I'm so glad he loves me like I am. We make a good couple, at least in my opinion. :)

So, Handsome, Happy Valentine's Day to you. I love you very, very much. I'm a lucky lady.
Mary B.