Giving an A

Several years ago for my birthday Melody our daughter gave me a book entitled "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander.

The subtitle is "Transforming Professional and Personal Life." I probably thought yeah, yeah, here's another one of those transforming books. But it really has the potential of transforming me, if I could just remember to apply one of the best practices in the book.

It's Practice 3, or Chapter 3: Giving an A.

What I got from my reading this was that if you would start every relationship by giving the other an A, you would be surprised at how different your attitude would be toward that person. The author is a professor and he would tell his class on the first day that they all have an A. He's given each one of them an A. Now, they will have to work very hard to lower that grade. He found that the students had a completely different approach to his class.

Then the author suggests that this could really change relationships. I remember when I was first introduced to this idea that it completely upset my way of thinking. I didn't know it, but I found that I automatically gave everyone an F and they had to work hard to raise that grade. In other words, my natural way of thinking was critical and judgmental. Hmmm...

I'm about to face a new relationship and found myself saying, I need to give this person an A instead of having negative thoughts about how I'm going to handle certain things. Immediately I had a changed way of thinking. Amazing! This person will have to work hard to lower that grade.

I think what happens is that I start watching for positive things instead of negative things, and then when something negative might happen, I'm surprised because I wasn't expecting it. Brings to mind the old adage: you find what you're looking for.
MB

Making Plans

This year in May, Paul and I will celebrate fifty years of marriage.

For a couple of years we've been thinking about how we'd like to celebrate.

For awhile we thought we would like to have a big gathering.

We would ride up to the celebration on our motorcycle. The only problem with that one if I had thought it through would be the "helmet hair" thing. That's a real problem for a woman on a motorcycle. Between sweating and the smashing of hair, you look really lovely when you stop to eat and discard the helmet. I have a pin I wear that says "I love helmet hair." That's a lie!

Then we thought one of the entertainments would be my brother and I clogging. I think I must have wanted to overcome the idea of two little old people celebrating their fiftieth. My image of that through the years is old, old people who have finally gotten to this point.

As the time has drawn closer, Paul and I have realized we might just want to get away by ourselves and take a trip and celebrate the day all alone. How strange is that? What I think is happening is that we're both still working and we deal with people all the time. Sometimes we just get "peopled out."

This is still January and our thoughts may change, but right now we're looking forward to taking off and having an anniversary trip. We'll see.
MB

Boomer! Sooner!!

Go Sooners!

Enough said.
MB

Looking Forward to 2009

Happy New Year to you if you are reading this!

In our family we have several important events we are expecting to happen in this new year 2009.

The first major event is that our oldest daughter will become the grandmother to twin grandsons, which of course means that we will become great grandparents to our second and third great grandsons. This should happen during the first half of March.

The next major event is that Paul and I will be celebrating 50 years of marriage. What?!?! How can that be? We're still enjoying being married, we're still learning new things about each other, and we're still best friends. I thought that was supposed to change over the years. Hmmm... We talked last year about celebrating this event this year with a big celebration including a country and western dance, but as the time approaches, we're seriously thinking about skipping the country and revisiting Hawaii and spending a week together on the beach. That's more appealing to both of us.

Wade's book should be released in the spring. That will be a major event. I was privileged to be one of the ones who was asked to preview the manuscript. I'm eager for the release.

Last Saturday night my 91 year old Mom treated 9 of her children and most of their mates to supper at a local Chinese restaurant. There were 18 of us altogether. This is a monthly event scheduled for the first Saturday night of each month, but this one was special because Mother wanted to treat everyone. As we talked and laughed, we're realizing that more and more of us are retiring and our grandchildren are growing up and life is moving on. To an onlooker we probably look like a bunch of old people eating together. To us I think we still see each other as kids growing up. We had a fun, fun time and it was over at 9 pm. Time for old folks to head home and go to bed. : )

Looking forward to all the things I know about that are coming in 2009 and anticipating the things that will happen that will be a surprise.

Life is good.
MB

Cirque du Soleil

Last Saturday Paul and I drove to Tulsa and attended the Saltimbanco version of Cirque du Soleil at the new BOK Center. What a treat. Here are pictures of us at the BOK Center and of Melody, Tony, and Nataly, who treated us.



This was an interesting dilemma for us because we had two conflicts. The OU basketball team had a 3 pm game and Paul has season tickets. Oops. And then we've followed closely the Heisman trophy candidates and the 7 to 8 pm presentation was none other than Saturday night. Another oops. Can you tell I was the one who scheduled us to go to Tulsa?

But, on the other hand, I have wanted to attend a performance of Cirque du Soleil for the past ten years. I've had a couple of chances, but they didn't work out. When Tony called and invited us, I said yes, yes, yes. Later I thought about what else was happening. My handsome fella just said he was okay with it and he would DVR the Heisman program and watch it later, and he would give away his basketball ticket. My response was are you sure? His response was Absolutely!! What a fella!!

Here's how it worked out. The basketball game was on TV, and we arrived in Tulsa in time to watch the entire game. Yeah! Then when we arrived at our premier seating in the BOK Center, guess what! It had a TV right in front of us and we were able to put it on ESPN and quietly watched the performance AND the Heisman presentation. Would you like to hazard a guess at whose eyes were where? JK

The whole evening was absolutely fabulous. The Cirque met all of my expectations. What a treat!!

Mel and Tony were gracious hosts and it was great fun to be able to talk out loud and not disturb anyone and to see the show from a fantastic viewpoint and with family. Could life get any better?

Thanks to the Lenoxes for a great evening. We are appreciative.
MB

Tree Memorial

In February of this year our son-in-law's father died. Our family wanted to do something special for Tony to show our love for him and our care that he had lost his father.

I was discussing this with one of our daughters-in-law and she suggested a tree. Her Mom had given this to a friend who had lost a loved one. Our family gave Tony and Mel a cash gift to pick the kind of tree they wanted and enough to have it planted and also to buy a memorial plaque.

Tony's Mom was visiting back in October, and on October 31 the tree was delivered and planted. Here are two pictures Tony's Mom sent me so we could share the event via pictures.




Beautiful tree and a great choice.
May anyone and everyone who views the tree remember Gene and what he meant to his family.
MB

Remembering

We're having such fun on Facebook. What a marvel modern technology is!

One of the youth from the youth group "tagged" me in a photo, and it's this one. We had this made at the church for a bulletin picture. I think it's when we celebrated Paul's 25 years in the ministry, but it might have been when we moved there. Don't know for sure.

This picture brings back so many fun and interesting memories. Cherri was a new driver at age 16 and I was worried sick about her driving in the big city. The little town of Borger TX was just fine, but the big city? We probably overloaded her with things to remember and what to watch out for and I worried, worried, worried. She did great and was a good driver. Probably the best thing that ever happened was to move to the big city. Cherri's still a really good, fast, and careful driver.

Wade's still in high school in this picture. He had a mustache in this picture and sometimes a beard. In high school! Made him look older. One time in a shoe repair shop, he turned to me to ask for money to pay and said, "Mom." The clerk was shocked and said he thought we were husband and wife. Thrilled me but mortified Wade. Funny. Don't think that would happen these days. : )

Melody was in junior high or middle school when we moved. This was a tough time to make the change. Melody made friends quickly and all through high school there was a close group of church friends who did everything together. The three older kids graduated from Southwest HS in Fort Worth, and it was so different from the small town TX high school with all the big city type problems. The church group and James Robinson, the youth minister, were great and were some of the main reasons our kids made it through high school safe and sound. Their running-around group was mostly comprised of church kids. I'll always be grateful for James and Judy and the youth group!

Brett was in first grade when we moved to Fort Worth. He went through grade school in FW before we moved to Broken Arrow OK. He had the fun of being on the "runt" end of the kids and we often laughingly said that Brett had five parents instead of two. Those are such impressionable years. We were so busy with high school kids and an exploding and popular ministry that I sometimes wonder if Brett benefited or was neglected. Evidenced by the way he's turned out as an adult, I like to think that he seems to have benefited. I hope so.

Memories!! Fun to remember. Regrets fade and fun times come to the fore front. Grateful for that!!
MB

Halloween Hobos

That's I and my younger sister, Jenny, dressed up for Halloween as children.

I have fond memories of Halloween as a child. I had many brothers and sisters, and my Mom always made sure we all had costumes to go trick or treating. As we got older, we made up our own costumes. Not sure who helped Jenny and me with these costumes, but they're pretty good, aren't they?

Jenny and I always had so much fun together. She's two years younger, and I have great memories of our growing up together. But, I'm the older sister. My memories are good ones.

Sometimes I hear Jenny talk, and I'm not sure her memories are so pleasant of our times together. She recalls some of the times I got angry and mistreated her. I'm shocked! Sweet little ole' me? Really?

A good life lesson for me from this is to always stay open about my memories and check them out with the other principals involved. My girls and I have done that some and it's very interesting the result. Keeps perspective. When you plug in others' feelings and perspectives, memories come into focus and become a little more realistic.

I digress! Halloween is such a fun time. We grew up loving it. Just sharing some memories.
MB

Expressing Thanks

I must confess. I am the world's worst, absolute worst, gift receiver. I love giving gifts to others, but when I receive gifts, I'm a zero expresser of gratitude. I say thanks and that's about it. Later I usually fuss at myself for not being more expressive. I want to change, but I'm not sure this change is an option I can choose and accomplish.

However, in an attempt to show my thankfulness for gifts received from my children for my birthday, I'm dedicating this blog post to that purpose.

From Cherri and family: Cherri and Dara treated Paul and me to lunch and gave me a card with a personal note. Inside was a gift certificate to Starbucks. Great gift!! Every weekday morning Paul and I go to the mall and walk, usually two miles or four times around the inside of the mall. Then we go to my office and Paul goes to Starbucks and buys me a cup of coffee and doctors it with his special recipe. He always uses his own money and w/a tip, that's $2 a morning. I know, I know. It's terrible to give that much for a cup of coffee, but we do. So, with Cherri's gift that's over a month's worth of Starbucks coffee. And a friend sent me a card with another Starbucks gift certificate. Yeah! I will have my caffeine jolt for many mornings to come! Thanks to Cherri and family for a great and much appreciated gift!

From Wade and family: I received in the mail a great gift from Wade and his family. It's a fantastic OU book entitled "The University of Oklahoma Football Vault, The History of the Sooners." It's not only pictures, but it has envelopes holding actual old programs and old tickets. Bob Stoops writes the Foreword. It is a true collection, and very fun to read and reread. My Dad played football and ran track at OU in the early 1930's. I have loved reading this section and seeing the OU record at that time. My Dad also played in the Hula Bowl in Hawaii, and that is also mentioned. Paul and I have season tickets to OU football and enjoy very much all the Sooner hype and we're very much a part of that, yelling and clapping and doing the Boomer-Sooner yell across the stands. Too fun. So this book is very special and enjoyable to us, and it has a prominent place on our glass coffee table for all who come to enjoy. I may need to "regift" this back to Wade after we have thoroughly digested the contents. JK Thanks to Wade and family for a unique and appreciated gift!!


From Melody and family: I had mentioned to Melody a couple of weeks ago about how much I love poetry. In fact, I admire people who can quote poetry lines. I don't quite get the abstract stuff, but certain poets are my favorites because they're able to put in a few words some great thoughts, and I enjoy so much reading those lines. In fact, I usually get inspired to memorize sections of poetry. I have a Shakespeare handbook with snippets from his works that are well known. I read them often. Anyway, that must have been an unknown fact revealed to Mel, and she gave me this book for my birthday and reminded me of my words to her. Great gift! Mel, Tony, and Nat came through Norman on their way to Dallas and treated Paul and me to lunch and gave me this gift.

Hidden in the book was a gift certificate to Borders. A double gift! Thanks to Mel and her family for my birthday gift!

From Brett and family: I have to write here that Paul and I are book store addicts. We can spend more time and money in a bookstore than in any shoe or clothing store. We love books, and we have shelves in the garage full of books, an outside building of Paul's office full of books, an inside office with one wall of shelves full of books, and then different areas of the house are filled with books. This last group of books should be given away, and we will one day, but it's hard to make the decisions which ones to part with. All of this is a preface to say that Brett and his family gave me a gift certificate to Hastings. I'm savoring the thought of getting to go in and buy more books. I'm surfing my favorite blog writers to see what they're reading for ideas. How fun is this? Thanks to Brett and his family for this great gift!

So, to make up for my lack of physical expression and adequate verbal words of thanks, thanks to all of you, four wonderful kids and families, for such wonderful birthday gifts. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and the time you took to choose, buy, and get to me your gift. I'm a grateful and thankful Mom.
MB

Grandsons and Football Games

Six weeks ago, our oldest grandson, Ty, told us he had received a nice bonus at work and that he wanted to use some of it to treat Grams and Papaw by taking us to the OU vs TX game at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas on October 11. Wow! We were thrilled and excited and enthusiastically accepted the invitation.


Here are Paul and Ty sitting in one of the buildings at the TX State Fair. We arrived so early we had to find some places to find drinks and food and to sit down and rest awhile. We left the motel at 6:30 am, had breakfast, and headed over to the Cotton Bowl, parked, and were walking in at 8 am. We found ESPN's Game Day and stood and yelled and laughed and stayed until the telecast started. We left that huge crowd to find a resting place before going into the stadium.


Not sure why Ty is frowning when he has his picture taken with me. Hmmm... Maybe it was because Papaw had to try twice to take the picture, and Ty's not the greatest fan of having his picture taken although he was very gracious.

We had so much fun. Best of all was the one-on-one time with our 25-year-old grandson who is smart, good-looking, and just a pleasure to be with. He knows so much about everything!! We had fabulous seats at the game; it was a perfect weather day; and everything was so much more than we could have even hoped for. Except that, of course, we lost. Bummer! Otherwise a perfect and fun day!
MB

Her Life 1918–2008

Julia Margaret Lee Burleson West left her earth suit Saturday, October 4, 2008, and put on her heavenly suit and entered another life. In our common vernacular she died yesterday.


Margaret and Reed Burleson had four children, two girls Betty and Fern, and two boys Paul and Jim.


Reed Burleson died in 1971 in October at the age of 56. Margaret remarried a few years later to Eldon West.


After a few years of marriage, Eldon died. Over the years Margaret became a widow twice, lost her daughter Fern, and had some health issues. As she grew older, she progressively moved into smaller living quarters, assisted living, and finally became a resident in a nursing home. None of this was easy, but she made the best of every situation. As the changes came and she adjusted, she would eventually say, this is okay. She was a real trooper and learned to accept the different stages of her life.

Last May, the family hosted a 90th birthday party. Here's a picture of some of our family with her at that party.


The services are pending and the details will be decided today, Sunday. The reality of losing a loved one sometimes takes time to soak in. As I was looking through and choosing pictures for the service, I walked down memory lane of Margaret's life. Though she's gone from us physically, she as others of our family who have died, will live on in our hearts and memories. This is the way I'll remember her, younger and laughing and enjoying life.


See you later, Margaret.
MB

50 Years? Can't Be!

This weekend we are having fun at Paul's 50-year high school reunion. Last night was the opening party in OKC, and it was fun. Paul was definitely the youngest and best looking guy there!

Today we're touring the high school, at noon we're meeting for lunch, and at 2 pm we're gathering at OCCC (community college) for a poetry reading by a fellow classmate. Then we're attending a banquet tonight at 7 pm.

Being a "spouse" at a reunion can be fun and it can be boring. It depends on who you happen to sit next to (and get left by). Last night I sat by a "young" spouse who was 3 when her husband graduated from high school, so obviously she was 15 years younger than the majority there. She had fun evaluating how old and how decrepit so many of the alums looked. And I agreed, especially the guys. Most were very old, tough, and hard looking. It's her husband in the picture above with Paul.

A very fun moment was when my seat mate found out Paul was a preacher. That was well into the evening, after lots of fun and sharing. Then, she just couldn't get over it. She had had some bad experiences with preachers in her past and she didn't necessarily like them. She kept saying, "You had me fooled." We were both thinking, "Yeah!"

My handsome feller has aged well and was, by far, the best and youngest looking guy there. He loved my telling him that and kept doing the come-on sign on the way home for me to continue telling him. I did, I did, I did. . .

Looking forward to more fun today.
MB

Waterfall, Voilå!

The waterfall is completed and working.


Looks fantastic. Sounds fantastic. It is fantastic!!


We couldn't be more pleased. Relaxing, refreshing, rejuvenating!
MB

OU Fans Publicized

A 2007 Christmas present from our daughter, now being given.



Putting on the finishing touches.



Admiring the finished product.



Artist and helper trying to duplicate OU! Huh?



Finished product "aerial" view.


Rain threatened later that evening. We two quickly covered our newly painted OU with plastic and anchored it with all of our steak knives. We're truly fanatical OU fans. Too fun!
MB

Swimming Pools and Rain

No pictures today.

We will always remember the month we put our pool in.

Facts:
• We started filling our pool with water on 8/8/08 (which happens to also be Brett's 37th birthday).
• The month of August 2008 set a record for rainfall in OK City. We've not had to add water; we've had to drain water!
• We have already used our pool heater a lot. Yesterday the pool temperature was 73 degrees. I'm comfortable with the water temperature at 85 degrees.
• The electrical line had to be moved, and the company couldn't find the line. It was buried twice as deep as normal.
• So much rain has hindered much of the work getting done on schedule.
• August is usually one of the two hottest months of the year. Not this year. Very, very cool.

Those are some of the things we will remember.

What we're finding out:
• Exercising in the pool is fabulous!
• We need many bathing suits–three a day minimum. (Can't stand to put on a wet bathing suit.)
• Paul is addicted! (He said that yesterday. He absolutely loves it.)
• We're so pleased with the crews who've worked on our pool. Yesterday we had the drains replaced, and we wondered how they would do that in a full pool. One of the two young men who came to do it ran and cannonballed into the pool. I wasn't here, but Paul said it was so much fun and they laughed and laughed at how much fun it was. (Truth be known, Paul and I haven't done the cannonball entry yet, I rather walk slowly in gasping at the change in temp. Maybe one day . . .)
• I work in an office five minutes away. I can get home, eat lunch, and enjoy a fun time in the pool during the lunch hour.
• The most amazing thing: Paul is loving puttering outdoors. That's a major switch for this speaking, traveling man. He can't do enough outside and has found many new interests. It's fun to watch.

Overall, I guess you can tell, we are so excited about having a pool. I told someone the other day, it almost makes me feel rich. I know that's goofy because our pool is really quite small, but it's perfect for us. It's just one of those things the two of us have always wished for and never thought we would have.

Labor Day all four kids and mates and kids are coming for food and fun, almost all with a few exceptions. We'll have about two dozen here. We're going to tell them all that it's only on if the weather is fair. We're fair-weather hosts!

We're still not through with the construction. The waterfall into the pool hasn't been constructed yet. Guess why. Too much rain.

(I'm not griping; I just find it humorous that our area was behind in rainfall, but we put in a pool and now it won't stop raining. Fun things we'll never forget.) ;-)
MB

More Progress

The fire pit is now built. Two more things to go, the electrical line rerouted and the waterfall built. It's looking good and feeling great! We can't figure out why we waited so long to do this. It's absolutely fabulous. We'll keep you posted. MB

Swimming

No pictures today, but the pool is full and we have swum in it. Too, too fun!

Friday morning Paul left for a speaking engagement. I came home from work and there were two hoses filling the pool and a big, noisy machine blowing under the liner to keep the wrinkles out. I didn't know what to do and there were no instructions left. Later our pool man called and told me what to do just before I panicked about going to bed and dreaming of flooding the house.

Saturday, I got up and started the hoses again and the plugged in the big machine. Then I started cleaning our screened-in porch, which had tons and tons of dirt and sand all over everything. I worked five hours and moved everything and got all the dirt cleaned up. By then it was 104 degrees. Hot, hot!!

The pool man came by and took out the big machine and told me how high to let the water get. He poured the salt in (four big buckets) and brushed it so it dissolved and went into the drain so it would go through the system and make the natural chlorine. Being the inquisitive individual that I am, I had to know what was happening and why. I love learning new stuff.

He asked me if I was ready to jump in. I told him I had promised Paul that I would wait until he returned so we could experience the pool for the first time together. That was all my idea with Paul all the time insisting I should get in and not wait. It was hot, hot, and the pool man said, "Well, if you're not I am." Soon I said to him, "You know, that was a dumb promise. I'm getting in. That's why we have the pool." He laughed and left.

So all was ready. I called Paul and put the phone on speaker phone, to comply with his request, and he listened and we laughed and talked together as I waded in and oohed and ah-ed about how wonderful it was. So fantastic!

I stayed in about an hour and swam the length of the pool (30 ft) back and forth. Amazingly, I was out of breath. No wonder people say that's such good exercise. Fun, fun. Later that evening I got back in and had more fun just by myself. Then early the next morning I got back in and couldn't believe how nice and wonderful the experience was.

Paul got home Sunday evening and came running in the back door and before he even got all unpacked, he put on his bathing suit and jumped in. We had such fun. Then some friends came by and we truly initiated our pool.

Then, you know what happened? Norman OK received 4.6 inches of rain yesterday, Monday. Set a record! We were watching carefully as the pool level rose and rose. Yikes! It stopped about an inch from the top of running over. Can you believe it?

Then last night, it was too cold to get in the water. Paul led the way while I was changing, and he came running back in saying the water was way too cold. He couldn't do it. I just changed right back into my clothes. If it's too cold for Paul, I'm not even giving it a try. Another "Can you believe it?" Too cold on August the 11th.

Anyway, that's the saga of our getting into the pool. We still have some construction going on. The fire pit and the rock waterfall have to be built and the electric company has to reroute the lines. So, we're not through yet, but we've had fun in the water. I'll post more pictures of the finished product.
MB

It's Filling Up!

We still have some finishing touches like the rock waterfall and the brick fire pit, but the pool liner is in and the pool is filling up with water. Yeah! We're almost there, and it's only been two weeks. Who would have thought!

There is some clean-up to get done and we have to go to "pool school" to learn what we've gotten ourselves into. Otherwise, it's almost time for that first dip. Can't wait!
MB

Nine Days Later

The noise has been loud, the mess has been much,
the finish is close, can't wait, but
must.
Paul is imagining how the new fire pit will be. The brick layer will come back after the concrete is poured. Too fun!
MB

Eggs and Omelets

"You have to break an egg to make an omelet. We're breaking the eggs!" That's how our pool man explained the mess we're enduring to get a pool in our backyard.

We're finally doing it. We started talking about it back in March and actually wrote up the contract. Then several things happened and we postponed. Then we started debating whether we really wanted to or not. We are doing it!

The one most excited about this is Dara. She can hardly wait. We are making a sidewalk all the way around the side of the house to the pool's edge. She can "wheel" to the edge and get right in. We plan on having lots of visits from Dara. Yeah!

Our pool man is one to be recommended. He's great! So often you start a project like this and the people doing it leave much to be desired. We are thrilled to have contracted with our guy. He's nice, he's fun, he demands quality, and he oversees much of the work himself in person. I thought this type of guy vanished from the work place a long time ago. What a nice find!

Well, we'll be having eggs broken and stirred and seasoned for quite a while. We're really looking forward to the omelet.

I'm planning a special celebration when the two of us actually jump in or slide in or walk in, whatever. We're anticipating it will be very fun and relaxing!
MB